When the morning comes with fresh breathe and you hate getting up from your bed, as facing this another day seems like fighting another battle.
When you loathe the very light of the sun, praying that somebody could come and veil the room with curtains. When the chirping of the birds feel like a hard rock metal music.
When laying down in the bed you try to find out a reason to get up, to muster the courage to live an another mundane day.
When everything seems banal and you are unconcerned about where your belongings are.When you are busy counting the voids in your life.
When looking at the mirror you see a weary, ugly dark monster and you hardly care about that fact, you feel comfortable in your stale clothes and dirt engulfing your skin as they seem as a shell to hide the nakedness of your wretched soul.
When each and every breathe you take seems useless to you. When you spend the entire day in your bed inside your blanket with a book to hug you up in its lines, because you feel more comfortable in the company of that book than the people surrounding you, and when while reading you find something that associates with your condition, it gives you a sigh of relief to your soul as you feel that you are not alone in this battle.
When you eat food just to survive and not to live.When you carry your day’s work like a slave and you are only concerned about when the night would come and you can shield yourself in your blanket, The Rescuer again.
The worst part comes when you are said to meet people or your parents force you to meet somebody because then you have to pretend and play a part which seems like a Herculean task. With people always nudging you with a piece of advice so that you could mend up your goaless life. They act as your personal advisors and stab you by mocking from inside.
When walking down the road seems like walking the wire. The eyes are watching you, questioning you, mocking at you. You feel naked in front of this world. You want to just run back and lie in that dirty blanket.
When your souls is so dead from inside that you hardly feel any emotion. Your moods change with a lightening speed and your heart plays with your mind. In between these games you are suffering, but you don’t know from what. As the things are falling apart.
P.S. This is my personal experience. Many of you may have experienced this or related to this or may be not. Just associate with whatever yours case is.
Featured image inspiration: Henn Kim