We make mistakes. Mistakes are nothing but the actions that we take when we are oblivious of the truth, living in our own world of misconceptions. So, I will be pointing out some common mistakes(harmless) that we make due to certain misconceptions. It would be great if we could address these. So, here we go:
1. About time: We tell people that we don’t have time for doing so or so thing or whatever it is. Or we say that we will do this later after sometime when we will do that and that and that and it goes on.(sorry for spamming with ‘that’). But, its true, in this hustle of life we actually forget that it is the time that have us, we literally don’t have time. (I hope you all get me). So, try to do whatever is possible in the present. We only have that.
2. About people: “Oh, I envy that person’s life”,
“He/She is having the time of their lives”,
“Some people are so lucky, they get everything so easily, I hate them!”,
“My life is terrible, I am the most unluckiest person alive.”
Yes, these are the very things that we think of other people when we see them looking great on social media or in reality and then comes the practice of self-loathing and feeling sorry for ourselves and giving dozens of excuses.(Parents do this more often with their kids, by comparing them with others). And everything that we see as glittering, we are unaware of the fact that so much of hardwork and labour that person has put into it.
So, instead of seeing what others are doing or not. What we can do is to be kind. From the lines of the movie Wonder:
“Be kind to everyone. Because everybody is fighting there own battle”
I want to add more into this that Be kind to yourself as well. And stop feeling sorry about yourself.
We are committing a very big blunder by comparing our lives with others because:
Firstly, we are measuring ourselves with others( by being unaware of their situations)
Secondly, we are degrading our standards as well( by being unaware of how much capable we are of and wasting our energies in loathing others). So, much waste of energy it is.
And so much unawareness is nothing but misconceptions.
3. About desires: Even if a man can overcome all the materialistic desires there are some desires that one cannot get rid of completely. We desire explanations because that separates us and makes us feel safe.
We desparately wish to live in an explainable world. And we could even extract explanations where none exist. And this desire goes on and on.
Let me rephrase lines from my favourite book, An Unnecessary Woman,
” We are constantly explaining and excusing ourselves; life itself, that inexplicable complex of being and feeling, demands explanations of us, those around us demands explanations of us, and in the end we ourselves demand explanations of ourselves, and at the end explain ourselves to death.”
4. About love: So, you all can see the degree of being a misconception is increasing as we are proceeding further into this discussion. Love, it’s the perfect synonym for misconception. We keep on searching for this thing in other people. As if, there are any angels sent on this earth for us, who will love us and understand us. But, I guess there no supernatural beings living in this world. Everybody is flawed. They could be perfect in one thing but they will surely lack in other things. And this search operation goes on. We forget that there is somebody who needs our love first. That somebody is nobody but, us.
So, before you love anybody else, its more important that you love yourself first. People lose their worth and become puppets to their lovers. They think that only that person can give them what they want, that person is their world. But, the truth is when you will love yourself you will be able to see others like that as well. You will stop expecting and will be more happier from inside.
5. About life: This life is the biggest misconception that we live in. We always try to hold this life together. We want it to be ordered. When we see it getting into control, in our hands, we think it’s forever.
A quote by Carl Sagan,
“We are like butterflies, who flutters for a day and think it’s forever”
We keep on holding and controlling things together but eventually it will not let you do that completely. And this is also good in other sense.
Because let’s just imagine that all the things are falling into place, all is going on as we have thought, everything is predetermined, there is nothing to worry about and we are fully aware of what the next event will be. Will this mundanity and predictability, make you happy?
Of course, NO! Instead, this feeling will irritate us. It would feel like some deafening silence. Where there will be nothing new to overcome, new problems, new challenges. No zest, no passion in life.
So, I guess, next time we will be able to rejoice those obstacles and problems in our lives, live in the present, be kind to ourselves, love ourselves and be aware of our existence.
P.S. 1. I would like to know your views. What do you think of these misconceptions?
2. I have been thinking of trying something new. So, I am open for any collaborations. If you have some good idea, you can contact me here.