Nowadays, I prefer getting morning sunlight, quite often. As, most part of this year went by, being gloomy and cold for me. I always wanted to remain indoors, shutting off all the daylight. And I was not at all surprised when my doctor recommended me to stay in the sun more often, by looking at the negligible amount of vitamin D in my body. So, at the end the coldness of the winters overpowered the coldness, inside me and I couldn’t resist myself from getting that warm sunlight, that healed my body and my mind, giving me an inexplicable hope these days.

Today, while getting some sunlight, I was reading “The Water Cure” by Sophie Mackintosh(as a matter of fact this book was also longlisted for the ManBooker prize this year, and its eerie blurb got my attention to read it). I was skimming through its pages, and came across a line, which was-

” Part of what made the old world so terrible, so prone to destruction , was a total lack of preparation for the personal energies often called feelings.“

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And this line, hit me deeply. Reading makes me contemplate and search for the things/answers I am looking for. And this line totally resonated with my state of mind.

At one moment, I was dependent on the sun for its energy and at the very next moment I realized, that there are energies within me as well, that could affect or benefit other ones as well. And just like getting too much energy from the sun after some time becomes toxic and makes you feel dizzy, similarly, my energies if forced on somebody for a greater deal of time could result in making people exhausted.

How the world revolving around me could be controlled by the way I balance my energies. And if I will not look into this then how it would be affecting me as well as the world around me. Then how can I decide, how much amount of it should be released and how much amount is fatal and should be concealed within me?

The energies that I am talking about are feelings. Feelings of guilt, sadness, anger, hatred and love. And nobody would be disagreeing with the fact that there doesn’t comes a situation in their lives when theses feelings takes control of their lives, makes them either too vulnerable or too despicable. They forget about the fact that these energies are not the ones entitled to control them and it should be the other way round. They become blind and totally intoxicated by their own energies.

I also contemplated about the events when such situations occurred in my life. Why and what should have done. How I should have reacted at that situation.

And as it is energy it should be balanced in every side.i.e., not only controlling the amount of feelings we are giving out to the world but also being aware of the fact that how much can we control inside us and keep them in bay.

As, strong feelings weaken you, open your body like wounds. But, the only things that is important is you should be aware of what you are doing. And when the situation comes when you get saturated with energy inside you, you should vent it out in a positive way with a feeling of selflessness and kindness and sadness when required. But, not forgetting at any moment that we are owning this moment and this feeling. We are the owner of this energy and nobody should be blamed. And it should never control us.

P.S. What are your thoughts? Do share your views. 😊