Me: Alright I could write about this...
Also Me: But, wait I think it’s too negative!
Me: Ok, may be I can try writing that…
Also Me: Heck No! It’s too mainstream.
(Starts scribbling gibberish at the back of my notebook that turns into drawing random patterns and circles)
With every pattern I draw, I find myself getting lost a little bit more. The search for topic for my next WordPress post, is pleasantly disturbed by this oddly satisfying exercise. I draw a circular line and instead of joining the end, I bend it a bit towards centre, repeating it again, that turns into a spiral pattern.
This made me ponder over my life, especially the last few months in which a lot has happened. I am still in the process of accepting the reality. May be, the spiral pattern reflects my state of mind.
Suddenly, a song comes on my mind. A song that I very well remember, a song that I used to listen to incessantly at one point in my life and a song that I really want to forget right now. Because at one point you need to outgrow few things that were once important to you, at some point of your life. May be, writing about it will make it easier. The song is The Scientist by Coldplay. The lyrics that keeps on bugging me right now:
“Tell me your secrets
And ask me your questions
Oh let’s go back to the start
Running in circles, coming up tails
Heads on a science apart.”
The words “Running in Circles” is stuck like a leech on my mind. How much harder I try running away from these words, they keep coming back and hit me even harder.
I remember, at one point I became so tired of running in circles, doing all the things that were futile and hopeless at the end. It was the time to take a strict action, to build up strength, that even I didn’t know I had. I was tired of coming to the same ‘futile end’.
To be honest it is not easy, it never was. There was dilemma. I constantly questioned myself at every instant. I realized that I had so comfortably blended myself in this pattern of running in circles and doing the futile things in life, that taking a step back and not doing them looked like a risky road to me. As if doing right seemed wrong for me. It felt something completely new to me- taking a new road, on my own.
The courage of taking a new path, is what I craved for. That’s why I drew a spiral pattern, because I was tired of running in circles and coming back to the start. The slight bend was the hope I long lost and found again- thanks to this thing called Life that works in its own mysterious ways.
Today, at this moment, I am ready to get lost in this mysterious spiral pattern, in this amazing journey, only at one condition of not returning to the start.
P.S. It’s been a long time again, but I promise this time a lot is coming and I am not going back. 😊
I really missed this space, and coming back here is some of the come-backs I look forward to. The longer the wait, the stronger my bond grows with WordPress.
How are you all doing? Tell me some good or new things. May be a song you have been listening to nowadays or may be a book you are reading. Looking forward to your replies. 😊